Good Morning

There's not a big difference between being awake and being asleep.  I can feel my body go unresponsive, time disappears.  Images, sounds, stories, music - screaming...  Why does waking up always feel like screaming?  I feel the same weight, or pressure, that you get from the whole experience of screaming.  Not excited screaming - the other kind.  The involuntary kind.  The kind of screaming that comes from your gut - a reaction rather than an activity.  Time has passed - the clock says so.  Was I just thinking about skateboarding on beams of light?  Ugh - why does my head hurt?  Can't really move yet.  Just get your arm working so you can turn off the alarm - turn on Netflix, or music, or an audio book so you don't go right back to... Fuck, is it 8:00???  Yeah the light turned off.  You're late for work man.  Do I have time to brush my teeth?  Guess I'll skip breakfast.  Need coffee.  Wait, need to feed the dog and ca...  Fuck, how is it 8:30?  Might as well brush my teeth and eat breakfast, you're supposed to be at work right now anyway.  mmmm... okay...sitting up.  Don't fall asleep - don't fall asleep. Shoes...no, pants...damn it - underwear - socks - shirt - pants - shirt - sweater - coat...um...shoes...  teeth?  no let the dog out.  uh - okay feed the animals...teeth,  food.  Water - need water.  Where the fuck are my shoes?  Need to warm up the car - 15 minutes ago...

of course the cat threw up on my coat...guess I'm wearing my hoodie to work. sigh...

why does my damn head hurt so much?

oh well - fuck it - drive to work...

Coffee - need coffee...

What

Oh my goodness, what a year.  Where did the last 5-6 months go?

Did I learn anything?

Surely.

Surely I learned something from it.

Yeah - but I would rather keep it to myself.  Interesting that - someone who want to write, thinking that he should keep his thoughts to himself.

I feel like writing some stories - yeah - I think that's what I'll do.

Life Rules

I'm no expert in living a happy life.  But, I'm learning!  I saw this 'article' on a terrible website; one which does not have my recommendation.  I'm 100% certain it's not original.  BUT, this is a good reminder, even for people who are pretty good at this 'life' stuff, of some things you can do to make improvements to yourself and your relationships.

If you're having trouble with some of these - give them a shot - my suggestion is that if you do work on one, don't sacrifice another aspect of your life in order to do it.  You're all smart enough to understand these, but if you want to read the crappy article - check out the link below.

1. Appreciate life
2. Choose friends wisely
3. Be considerate
4. Learn continuously
5. Creative problem solving
6. Do what you love
7. Enjoy life
8. Laugh
9. Forgive
10. Gratitude
11. Invest in relationships
12. Keep your word
13. Meditate
14. Mind your own business
15. Optimism
16. Love unconditionally
17. Persistence
18. Be Proactive
19. Self Care
20. Self Confidence
21. Take Responsibility

http://banoosh.com/blog/2013/05/19/21-habits-of-happy-people/

Short Story

:)

Talk to me - in that one voice...

(active voice)(~not Scottish)

This summer just started...  Can you believe that?

I learned some interesting lessons this spring.  I'm not sure why some things have to be so damn hard to learn.  This spring, for me, was all about communication.

If you know me - or read my blog (like - at all) then you know my method of communication is all about information.  I use communication to inform people.  That's fine ~but~ people don't like being told stuff - about things - all the time.  I actually sort of feel bad for people who ask me questions.  I always have this empathetic moment, where I sigh and think, "You have no idea what you just got yourself into."  Yes - that's what that sigh is; for those of you who have heard it...  That sigh is not, "Really? Now I HAVE to answer your question? Why you make me work so much?"  no-no... There really is no short, simple answer to the question, "What did you do this weekend?" in my world.

That's not exactly true.  Here's the thing.  You really don't care about all the details involved in how I came to end up having a conversation with a girl I haven't seen in almost 15 years.  All you really care about is that I ended up having a conversation with a girl I haven't seen in 15 years. And - that's all you're going to remember in about a week and a half anyway.  Unless you're one of the few people who really enjoys it when I go into ridiculous amounts of detail, or one of the people who are just used to it at this point.  Some of you guys already know what that sigh means - sigh yourself - and have the thought, "Ah crap, what have I gotten myself into now...  Better make sure I don't have to be anywhere in the next 30 minutes or so...  Why do you move your hands so much when you talk?  Wait did he just say duck vagina?"

ah - inside jokes

So, firstly, I'm trying to get better at listening to and taking the advice of others.  I guess you guys are pretty smart - and can offer a different perspective on what's going on - and have good, useful things to say...  I guess... heh.  I'm also reading books, written for people who aren't good at dealing with people and "regular" life situations - and REALLY trying not to jeer at them - and REALLY trying to learn something about social engagement.  And, of course, trying to practice at this stuff....

I've learned that sometimes you can say a lot without saying much of anything.  And, there is definitely such a thing as saying too much.  (~A lesson we all learn at some point.)  I'm trying to gear my words toward actions and activity - trying to make my voice more active rather than passive - trying to engage AND inform.  Bloody complicated - this.

And, I thought meeting women was tough... Sheesh...

When I grow up I want to...

Did you ever wonder if you were going to grow up?
Was there a moment when you thought you weren't going to make it?
Was that a moment of pain - fear - desperation?
Was it real?

Check out these other photos by Thomas Tham
http://121clicks.com/showcases/disadvantaged-children-photography-by-thomas-tham

It was a wild party.