Like the hole in your ceiling you don't notice any more.

I really am a ghost.  I blend into the scenery like a fixture to the environment.  I've actually seen people have a reaction to my presence that resembles ~not realizing that pole was there the whole time.  It's a great relief when I see someone from my past and they remember me; especially when I haven't seen them for a really long time.  I thought this was all in my head - that this was my insecurity screwing with my hyperactive observations of people doing things that everyone else doesn't notice ~ but ~ these things don't happen to other people.

I'm a big guy...  I'm 6'1".  I have a naturally wide stature, and I'm stocky to boot.  In the last year I've gone from 330lbs to 265lbs - still - not a small guy.  In a room chuck full of random people (like a club) I'm probably going to be one of the biggest people.  This is a prelude to a little known fact among my friends - I love to dance.  I may not be awesome at it, but I can move pretty well and I keep rhythm like a boss. (One trick is finding the right balance of tequila with the right kind of music ~ if you are interested in seeing this phenomenon.)

So picture a taller Seth Rogan when he was stocky ~ liquid dancing and pop-n-lock dancing in the back of a crowd of people. (That's exactly it!)  The first time someone walked by and ran into me I didn't really think anything of it.  The second time  I just brushed my shoulders of it.  The third time I thought that I might be standing in the middle of a walk way, so I turned to look, and I was the tip of a person peninsula with a radius of open space around me about 15 to 20 feet where people could walk and NOT run in to me.  I mean come on!  I have the presence of a fucking brick wall!  These ass holes who are running into me are a fourth my size!  I could seemingly pick them up and toss them like a tiny little caber.  Then person number four runs into me.  Then five.  six... seven... eight.... nine... ten...  Thank goodness it was my birthday - and I had had a lot of tequila.  Every time I checked - LOTS of room to not run into the dancing brick wall.  So then...

One of the security guards for the club ran in to me.  Oh man I was really drunk... (forgot to mention I moved after person 4 almost knocked me over and it kept happening)  Something about the fact that he was a security guard pissed me off - so I started following him around...and dancing...behind him...while he worked.  This went on for quite some time - he never noticed...  Really?  I'm so invisible that the SECURITY GUARD didn't notice me following him around and dancing behind him...  wow... (This dude was a beast too)

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsR/56893.gif

~mad respect~ if you know who this guy is!

"Whatever Jason - you're just weird and over think everything."  Fine - sure...  So - I decided to test this on an occasion when I was by myself and I got some really fucked up results and reactions.  I went to a dance club - now given - these are potentially drunk people... still...  I went to a spot where I was out of the way and stood about 6 feet away from an object - to my left (it was a barrel). To my right there was about 30 feet of open space - no people AT ALL.  Bump (left side) - (at least I got a 'my bad dude' and a pat on the shoulder. - dude was not drunk) - bump 2 (left side) 3 - left...  So - I halved the distance between me and the barrel.  bump - yup - left side... one more of those and I halved the distance again.  And a dude fucking SQUEEZED between me and barrel to get by! - So I went and leaned on the barrel. bump...  Then - I look in front of me at this girl who was dancing - she looked behind and noticed me.  I smiled and I don't know, I kind of expected a smile back... And she got this "Did that wall just smile at me?" look - like confusion...  So...  I went and got a beer... and I found a pole in the back of the room... and I just leaned against it to listen to the music and think. bump... Are you fucking kidding me?  I looked at this dude - like - really?  He looked at me like - "HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU'RE A HUMAN!"  Really - his eyes got HUGE like there was NO way that I was there a second ago and BOOM he just fucking ran in to me and I appeared out of thin air.

See - I would think that it was all in my head if like - the baristas from this coffee shop that I've been coming to for the last 2 years recognized me - not remember me - just recognize me - when I come in...