What's this feeling? Oh yeah, it's that feeling we get when we feel accomplished. What makes you feel accomplished? What makes you raise your arms in the air, feeling victorious? It changes right? Maybe it's getting a first date after a couple years of being single. After a few first dates, maybe it's getting a second date. Maybe, for you, the victory dance comes after a first kiss. Maybe it takes a lot more for you to feel like you've done something right.
Crap - I didn't mean for this to be about dating. What I wanted to say was - find that thing that makes you raise your arms in the air and make that what you do. That doesn't necessarily mean do it for a living. Hell, if I can kiss ladies for a living - sign me up! (lo, I am no Magic Mike. ~ Closer to Michael Moore) (I digress ~ a lot) Part of my point is - doing data analysis and writing the chaotic randomness that pours out of my brain doesn't exactly make me jump for joy. (Though I do get small victories from some of the more difficult problems I solve.) You know what makes me really march around and feel joyously victorious? Helping other people feel good. (And kissing ladies, but let's not get into that ~ not really sure I remember what it's like.)
I try to help others feel good all the time, though I'm not sure how good I am at it. That feeling - that knowledge that I may have been the cause for someone else's happiness - it's more satisfying than getting laid. (Getting laid is super satisfying when I can help her feel happy at the same time :) (~not really sure I remember what that's like either.)
Okay I can tell where my mind is going and I'm not going to do that here. This was going to be about life success and feeling good about yourself - obviously sex and feeling good are closely tied together in my brain ~ weird.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Party Time
I opened up a blog for posts about my buddy Dalaina'a birthday.
It's mostly inside jokes and "you would have needed to be there" type stuff, but the message is clear. We had loads of fun.
http://thedaytheworldstartedspinning.blogspot.com/
It's mostly inside jokes and "you would have needed to be there" type stuff, but the message is clear. We had loads of fun.
http://thedaytheworldstartedspinning.blogspot.com/
Thursday, June 13, 2013
The new - the old - just an update.
I guess it's been a while.
What a crazy month.
I sort of had it out with my sister. She's really not used to me NOT taking her bullshit sitting down. I'm not going to get into it. It's not worth the time it would take to write. Suffice to say that some people make immovable objects seem tolerable. (A fact she's proud of.)
I've been all over the place this month. This whole online dating thing is straight crazy-sauce. The people I've met haven't been crazy. (They probably can't say the same.) It's just that the whole process is crazy. If you can imagine the sort of dedication and thought I put into some things, then you can imagine what it's been like with dating sites. I did my homework... Lot's of homework... I've been at this for a little over three months now - I've had two dates. Exactly half the number of people who have actually responded to messages and at least seemed like real people. The dates were - okay. I liked one of them, but I could tell she thought I was strange and that she had dealt with someone who had a thought process like mine. She kept working around my weirdness like a pro - and - she didn't like it. Sigh... The other lady was cool, but she was looking for something I'm not.
Now, I'm just messaging people so that Match.com has to give me 6 months free when I don't meet "someone special." I think they depended on statistics when they made that guarantee. If you are active and are looking for someone, then chances are you are going to find someone in a relatively short period of time. Match never met me... Fuck statistics, I'm an outlier.
I spent the last month preparing for a few particularly taxing things. I dropped the equivalent of 2 month's rent (extra) to move into a new place this month. My new house is pretty darn awesome though and it's in a great location. A couple of my most awesome friends (and my completely awesome mama) helped me pack, move, and minimize in a total of 2 days. It's sort of weird, 'cause I feel like I've been here a lot longer than a week and a half. Everything is already set up and I've already fallen into a routine. That's a big thanks to my good buddies helping get things organized and a HUGE thanks to my god-son for staying with me for a week and helping me keep from going crazy. I've been getting home in less than half the time it was taking before. It feels like I have all this time to do stuff with now - and I haven't quite figured out what to do with it. (I definitely owe you guys some writing - which someone pointed out recently :)
I had the second surgery on my ear the week before I moved. I didn't pass out when I got the IV this time. Yet again the nurse didn't listen to me and she tried to put it in the wrong place - sigh - so I had to get poked several times... Luckily I was able to meditate through it this time. But man, they really don't like it when you're holding perfectly still with your eyes closed and aren't reacting to anything. It's like ~ they've seen that before - and it was a bad thing - or something... We'll find out how well it went in a week or so when I go for a checkup.
The same week - a couple days after my ear surgery - I had something else done. I don't want to ruin the surprise - I just want to mention a pattern I noticed. People who noticed something was different, but couldn't quite figure it out, complemented me on how much weight I had lost recently. (Exactly zero pounds at the time.) The same thing happens pretty much every time I shave. I love people.
Speaking of weight loss - I bought a juicer - one of those "Nutribullet" things. Basically an uber-blender. I've been drinking my breakfast for a couple weeks now. My initial push was about 10 lbs and I haven't gone any further down since. I'm 100% certain that the couple bouts of fast-food and the very restaurant heavy nights out have something to do with that. I'm definitely on the refocusing path though. I think the act of thinking about food helps more than anything else. When I get to the point where I'm not thinking about what I'm eating - that's when things get bad - that's why I gained back half the weight I lost last year... I can feel a big difference though. I don't know if it's the move, the food, or a combination of things, but I have been feeling a lot better the last few weeks.
Soooo... This weird thing has been happening for a while now. Every once in a while I get these emails. Emails from Russia. (.ru) Contained in these emails...pictures of people's teeth. Not smiles... oh no... not smiles... VERY clinical - very SCARY pictures of people's teeth. Mostly - really (I mean REALLY) fucking messed up looking pictures of people's f'ugly ass teeth. One of them had 10 (one zero) pictures of this person's (later you can tell it was a woman - despite the mustache) fuckin' cross bite. I...was...mesmerized. So... I got to Googlein'... Thinking this was some sort of sexual fetish thing. (I mean - I do write about sex.) And...turns out that there is definitely a sexual fetish about teeth - and - about fucked up teeth (of course.) But - I keep getting them and they are very clinical... (The dots are my awe.) So - when I started getting a lot of page hits on this page from Russia recently - it made it seem WAY worse...
Two people, one of my best homies and the other - one of the coolest people I know, have been out of the country for the past month. You have both been in the foreground of my thoughts. To quote one of my favorite fictional characters, "As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The input is eventually anticipated, and even missed when absent." - Lt. Commander Data.
My mental pathways have missed your sensory input patterns.
What a crazy month.
I sort of had it out with my sister. She's really not used to me NOT taking her bullshit sitting down. I'm not going to get into it. It's not worth the time it would take to write. Suffice to say that some people make immovable objects seem tolerable. (A fact she's proud of.)
I've been all over the place this month. This whole online dating thing is straight crazy-sauce. The people I've met haven't been crazy. (They probably can't say the same.) It's just that the whole process is crazy. If you can imagine the sort of dedication and thought I put into some things, then you can imagine what it's been like with dating sites. I did my homework... Lot's of homework... I've been at this for a little over three months now - I've had two dates. Exactly half the number of people who have actually responded to messages and at least seemed like real people. The dates were - okay. I liked one of them, but I could tell she thought I was strange and that she had dealt with someone who had a thought process like mine. She kept working around my weirdness like a pro - and - she didn't like it. Sigh... The other lady was cool, but she was looking for something I'm not.
Now, I'm just messaging people so that Match.com has to give me 6 months free when I don't meet "someone special." I think they depended on statistics when they made that guarantee. If you are active and are looking for someone, then chances are you are going to find someone in a relatively short period of time. Match never met me... Fuck statistics, I'm an outlier.
I spent the last month preparing for a few particularly taxing things. I dropped the equivalent of 2 month's rent (extra) to move into a new place this month. My new house is pretty darn awesome though and it's in a great location. A couple of my most awesome friends (and my completely awesome mama) helped me pack, move, and minimize in a total of 2 days. It's sort of weird, 'cause I feel like I've been here a lot longer than a week and a half. Everything is already set up and I've already fallen into a routine. That's a big thanks to my good buddies helping get things organized and a HUGE thanks to my god-son for staying with me for a week and helping me keep from going crazy. I've been getting home in less than half the time it was taking before. It feels like I have all this time to do stuff with now - and I haven't quite figured out what to do with it. (I definitely owe you guys some writing - which someone pointed out recently :)
I had the second surgery on my ear the week before I moved. I didn't pass out when I got the IV this time. Yet again the nurse didn't listen to me and she tried to put it in the wrong place - sigh - so I had to get poked several times... Luckily I was able to meditate through it this time. But man, they really don't like it when you're holding perfectly still with your eyes closed and aren't reacting to anything. It's like ~ they've seen that before - and it was a bad thing - or something... We'll find out how well it went in a week or so when I go for a checkup.
The same week - a couple days after my ear surgery - I had something else done. I don't want to ruin the surprise - I just want to mention a pattern I noticed. People who noticed something was different, but couldn't quite figure it out, complemented me on how much weight I had lost recently. (Exactly zero pounds at the time.) The same thing happens pretty much every time I shave. I love people.
Speaking of weight loss - I bought a juicer - one of those "Nutribullet" things. Basically an uber-blender. I've been drinking my breakfast for a couple weeks now. My initial push was about 10 lbs and I haven't gone any further down since. I'm 100% certain that the couple bouts of fast-food and the very restaurant heavy nights out have something to do with that. I'm definitely on the refocusing path though. I think the act of thinking about food helps more than anything else. When I get to the point where I'm not thinking about what I'm eating - that's when things get bad - that's why I gained back half the weight I lost last year... I can feel a big difference though. I don't know if it's the move, the food, or a combination of things, but I have been feeling a lot better the last few weeks.
Soooo... This weird thing has been happening for a while now. Every once in a while I get these emails. Emails from Russia. (.ru) Contained in these emails...pictures of people's teeth. Not smiles... oh no... not smiles... VERY clinical - very SCARY pictures of people's teeth. Mostly - really (I mean REALLY) fucking messed up looking pictures of people's f'ugly ass teeth. One of them had 10 (one zero) pictures of this person's (later you can tell it was a woman - despite the mustache) fuckin' cross bite. I...was...mesmerized. So... I got to Googlein'... Thinking this was some sort of sexual fetish thing. (I mean - I do write about sex.) And...turns out that there is definitely a sexual fetish about teeth - and - about fucked up teeth (of course.) But - I keep getting them and they are very clinical... (The dots are my awe.) So - when I started getting a lot of page hits on this page from Russia recently - it made it seem WAY worse...
Two people, one of my best homies and the other - one of the coolest people I know, have been out of the country for the past month. You have both been in the foreground of my thoughts. To quote one of my favorite fictional characters, "As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The input is eventually anticipated, and even missed when absent." - Lt. Commander Data.
My mental pathways have missed your sensory input patterns.
My how time rolls by
Google asked me to create a map for a course I'm taking. It asked me what story I was going to tell, so I decided to map my life - or at least parts of it.
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